Met with Nik and Fei in real in Oct of 2008. We firstly met via the facebook. Imperssed by his feeling about china. Then I began pay attentation to Nik. Untill there were 2 stories happened in the Oct 2008, a sad and a happy stories. the sad story was Nik’s passport and wallet were stolen again. they had to stay in Beiijing and wait his new passport, the happy part was we met in real.I thought many westerns like Nik have a Chinese wife, and there are more and more western wanna find a Chinese wife. How did they find her? How to finish the merrage certificates? what is the biggest problem? and …Ok, Let us begin from reading Nik’s love story first?
Well, please introduce yourself first, your name, your work, you country, and your life before came to China, and what’s your impression of China before?
My name is Nicholas C. Stanosheck, most of my friends call me Nik. I live in Colorado, in the United States of America. Until my recent marriage, I have been a single parent, raising my daughter on my own since she was 1 year old. I worked in the computer field for many years until my job was outsourced to India. Until recently, I was a restaurant manager, but for the sake to have better opportunities, I am a manager trainee for Furniture Row. With my getting married and planning to have more children I needed to take a job with better future opportunities. For the first time in a very long time, I love going to work!
I had a good impression of China because of the people I had meet online from China, but the People’s Republic of China is completely different than the way the Western media portrays it. I would say that the Western media are about 10 years behind in their portrayal of China. As we all know, China, especially in the last 8 years, has opened up and modernized a lot! I think you have to come to China to understand it better. For instance many Americans would be surprised that China, in many ways is much more Capitalistic than America!
Then something happened when you visited China, so tell me your 1st feeling when you landed in China, and your first sight of your wife -Fei, when and where did you meet? Please tell me more about your story with Fei and her family. Especially the wedding ceremony, you called it as the traditional Chinese wedding ceremony, why? You said you have a daughter, did your daughter like your wife?
When I first came to China I fell in love with it, especially ChangSha, the capital city of HuNan Province. My first guide and translators that I hired 2 years ago were very helpful in getting me to learn more about Chinese culture.
Because of this, I planned a return trip to China the next year and decided to take my daughter. I was in search of a guide when I met Fei. She lived in ChangSha at the time, so she offered to be my guide the next time I was in China. As we corresponded, our feelings grew for one another, but when we met in-person, it was magic. My daughter explained that when Fei and I are together that it was like their is an aura of supreme happiness and love surrounding us, unlike anything that she has ever seen. Many of my friends and relatives have said from just our pictures together, that they can tell that we are meant to be together.
When I met Fei’s father, he cried. He said he had never seen his daughter so happy and he knew that looking at us, that his daughter was going to live very far away. After I proposed, I promised him that I was not only marrying his daughter, but marrying in to his family and that we would try to visit every other year, and that I would not be taking his daughter away from him. I have become very close with Fei’s family. I QQ with my youngest sister-in-law about once a week. She does not speak English well, so we QQ in Chinese, even though this is difficult for me.
My daughter said that she thought Fei was absolutely step-mother material and calls her “MaMa”. They get along very good and miss one another. As for my wedding it can be seen online, on Google Video, at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4543168625482651306. During the ceremony, my translator insisted on translating for me more than I needed, as I had a good idea of what was going on and what the expected steps were.
What is the biggest problem between you and your wife? language? culture? or distance? and how can you overcome it? what’s the beautiful thing in your marriage? and did the marriage changing your feeling about China? how and why?
My wife and I can communicate basics very easily. When discussing medical matters or complex concepts we need use of a translator. But our struggles here have helped both of us in our language learning. We text each other many times each day, I call her every weekend and we also communicate via QQ and emails. There are cultural differences between China and America, but Fei and I have promised to have a transparent relationship, so there are no problems, only anticipation of being together again. My mother and Fei have never met, but they are in regular contact through email and have grown very fond of one another. Fei and I are truly soulmates. She is everything I could have wanted in a mate and we connect in every way I would desire as well as in many ways I could have never anticipated!
I believe there are lots of expats wanna find a Chinese wife,what’s your best advice for them? and what kind of thing they’d better don’t do?
I have heard many expats have been taken advantage of by con-artists wanting to use them for money, so from my research, if you want to use a matchmaker, I would recommend a reputable agency like ChnLove and to trust in Fate. But even on that site, many Shanghainese women have a reputation for being “gold-diggers” and so many stay away from them if they are sincere and looking for love. Still, many of the local agencies have been known to try to exhort foreigners, but as long as you keep in contact with someone on your side, like ChnLove’s Hong Kong office and pay nothing to the local agencies, you should be free from being conned. Although I have found Chinese people to be very friendly and customer service oriented, in every country there are thieves and conmen, and you need to prepare your self. The best defense is to be prepared with a good offense.
But after you meet your future-wife, the process to get married is complicated and very different than in the west. So I have started a blog detailing the steps http://feisnik.blogspot.com. It details everything from pre-engagement to post-marriage immigration processes and issues that can arise.
What’s your plan about your future? When will you and your wife reunion?
I was hoping to come back to China for Chinese New Year, but because of the World Economic Crisis, my mother’s work will not allow her the time off to watch my daughter while I return to China. And my daughter cannot come, as she needs to go to school. So it will be a little later. My wife’s initial visa paperwork should be done by the end of April, and then she will have her interview, so we plan and hope for her to be in America by my 36th birthday on 15 June.
How many places did you visit in China? what’s your favorite place in China for Travel? Why?
I have visited Beijing and many places in HuNan Province. I think the Ancient Phoenix Town was the most fascinating place to visit because of how full of history it was. But BeiJing has a lot to offer too, even if I got a sour taste from having my wallet and passport stolen there!
What will you tell to the other westerns who didn’t come to china yet?
You do not know China until you go there. Go to China with an open mind and experience all it has to offer. I am willing that you, like me, will fall in love with this amazing land and its wonderful people! If you are going to BeiJing, be sure to connect with Winser, as he is a wonderful friend and tour guide!
Can’t wait to see their pictures? Ok,Let us see one of Nik and Fei’s wedding pictures here.
Tags: changsha, China travel, China Travel 2.0, fei and Nik, Hunan, love story, Winser
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Nik,I must say,your great love story give the blog a better traffic. thanks.
Oh yeah? Have a lot of people been coming to the site to read it? I have gotten a lot of messages via Facebook, Twitter, and email because of it.
Congratulations Nik, I live in Western Iowa, not really all that far from you. I am planning to travel to China the first two weeks this April. I too have fallen in love with a beautiful Chinese woman and this will be our first meeting. We are already discussing marriage and your site is helful for us. I would like to stay in touch with you privately.
John, feel free to contact me privately. I am glad my site can help you! Winser has my email address and has my permission to give it to you. I can also be found on Twitter @feisnik and Facebook as the only Nicholas Stanosheck.
I recently traveled to Changsha, China. I met a nice lady. Did you meet your spouse via Chnlove? Did your spouse employ the Changsha Love Bridge Company?
Did your translator work for the Changsha Love Bridge Company?
Fred
Fred, I am glad you met a nice lady in that wonderful city. I imagine you got the “pleasure” of meeting Director Zhao and were subjected to her continuous demands for extra money at the end of your trip? I did hire a translator from the CLBC and she quit after seeing how “ruthless” said Director could be.
I gave Changsha Love Bridge Company money as a gift to the Chinese lady’s parents. The lady will not comment to marriage. The lady will not say yes. The lady will not say no. The Chinese lady said that she will consider marriage. I think that she may be playing romance games. The Changsha Love Bridge Company is still sending EMF messages via chnlove ( http://www.chnlove.com ). I just wonder if it is a SCAM. Do the ladies have to pay a large amount of money if they get married via the agency? I do not understand the Chinese dating agencies. I think that the Chinese lady that I met and dated for 2 weeks, may not like the Changsha Love Bridge Company. The lady may have signed a strict contract.
Fred
My wife did not sign any such contract with them, but they are known for having such contracts where 75,000 RMB must be paid upon success. They tell the lady that the man will pay it. They also ask for money for their services to you. It sounds like you are being played unfortunately. The agency does have a very bad reputation in ChangSha and the translator we hired from them actually quit the company over this trying to defraud people.
Fred, you need to contact ChnLove about this.
Thank you for your advice.
Fred
Nik,
I am interested to visit ChangSha Love Bridge Company and see. Do you have the address and phone number?
Thanks,
Al
I do not have the address of Changsha Love Bridge Company. I could probably get the address. The lady that I dated and the translator took me to the agency.
Fred
I apologize, ChangSha Love Bridge Company has a better reputation. The bad agency with Director Zhou was ChangSha Deeply Loving Matchmaking Co. Ltd. I apologize for my error. Please forgive me!
China is a great place. i lived there 3 years, and I might be going back in the fall. But this story paints a rosy view of a country awash in poverty, government corruption, and in fear. Truth beats lies anyday, but I guess this is all sales talk anyway, so truth is not allowed.
Glad to see the site back up!
Shinyon – why all the hate? My comments have spoken of both good & bad. Why are you so angry?
Very nice interview Nik . Straight forward and right to the point , as seen through your Eyes . Sorry , some don’t see it this way . Some People only like to Paint the Negative Picture of everything . Being Poor is NOT a Crime .
Nik , there is one thing though , I did not like . The Shanghai comment , hence my Wife’s from there . Also as my Nickname states , I love Shanghai . It will be my Home , when I retire .
Anyway , that has got to be the best Photo from the Wedding . Absolutely stunning … both of you .
Hi Nik not spoke to you in ages, nice to see you back on Chnlove.info.
Update from my end, going to Qingdao in November marrying Keren and starting a new job teaching, it’s a whole new start mate…
Nice story
Ps
I don’t think this paints a rosy picture, I believe its from the heart and the way you see China and her culture…
Thank you for your kind comments!
Shi MiFeng, it is just the reputation, but there are exceptions to every rule!
Congrats Rob!
Congrats… my daughter Soirsce, met and eventually married a Chinese man and now lives in Shanghai. The Internet is changing everything and making us all members of a global community. Much happiness to you both and thanks for sharing this romantic tale.
Thank you for your encouraging words Stephen!
Changsha Love Bridge does not have a clean reputation. Please do some research before you pay any ‘translator’ or ‘marriage broker’ any fees.
Western men who are interested in finding a wife in China need to be aware of possible scams, and fraud, surrounding certain agencies, and ‘translator/brokers’.
On our website, we try to explain most of them. We are not anti-chinese. I met my wife in China, and I did not pay any translator, broker, or any other fee solely contrived to take advantage of western men.
Hi Nik, Thank you very much to share the amazing love story with us. Hopefully, I can be a follower of you to find my love and life mate from the great country. Could you please tell me the Changsha Love Bridge Company’s phone number?
Many thanks. God bless you and Fei.
Cheers!
Well as for my experience in China (I am living in Changsha China and teaching English part time I am also retired US Army) with Changsha Love Bridge Company and a certain lady named Pei Xiaoying or Beauty Pei # P216020 as she calls herselve on ChnLove… it has been costly to say the least! I wrote ChnLove about her but I never heard back from them about her! But they allowed her to repost so her profile is back on ChnLove… So at least 3 guys on ChnLove have lost money and heart to her and she is loking for more and it seems like it is with ChnLove’s approval or at least looking the other way! My translator also used to work for Changsha Love Bridge Company and told my that the boss there would teach the women how to extort money from western men!There are very good people here in Changsha and also the very worst… so be very careful…
Tex
Agreed. There is both good and bad. Many bad agencies in ChangSha, but many good people from throughout Hunan province now living in Changsha.
Hi,
Am travelling to Qingdao in December to meet a lady that i met through Chnlove, am keen to make contact with Scottish Rob, who i see moved to that City in November, must admit am a little apprehensive. So as indicated really keen to here from Scottish Rob. My email address is nigelnrace@aol.com
Nigel
Thanks for another greet post. Keep rocking.
[...] if you want to find a Chinese husband(you can find the answers of how to find a Chinese wife from Nik and Fei’s story). I am always looking for a way to show you how to understand china and Chinese well, maybe we [...]